Now
“Johnny …”
I awoke with a start, and looked over at the window, where the wind was softly blowing the curtains into the room. Reaching for my glasses, I glanced over at my wife, who was still sound asleep next to me. That was just as well. Though we were still together after all these years, it was out of habit more than anything else, and I think that while she would always care for me, she’d fallen out of love with me years ago. We never talked about it, never acknowledged it, but it was there just the same. It used to make me sad, but I’d long since accepted it and had moved on. These days I preferred to be alone, anyway.
Carefully getting out of bed, I grabbed my robe from the chair next to the nightstand and put it on, the spring air feeling chilly to me even through my pajamas. I quietly walked over to the window, opened it up the rest of the way, and stood there, letting the gentle breeze caress my face as the silvery, ancient moon bathed me in its ethereal light.
“Johnny …”
I closed my eyes tightly, a shiver passing through my body. The wind ruffled through my thin, grey hair and I thought I heard a giggle. Opening my eyes, I looked back at my wife, but she hadn’t stirred.
Tying my robe closed, I softly padded across the bedroom in my slippers, moving as quietly as my tired old joints would let me. I gave my wife a kiss on the forehead, thanked her for so many years together, and then left the bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind me.
It took me a while to get out of the house, which was a nice big one that I’d had built on the edge of town, but I eventually made it out to the sprawling backyard, where the long, lush grass was waving in the wind like a field of wheat.
“Johnny …”
“I’m coming,” I whispered. “Don’t worry.”
As I shuffled across the grass, heading for the big glider swing that sat out in the grass a distance away from the house, I thought I heard another giggle, and the wind playfully tugged at my robe.
I sat down in the glider, which was already gently rocking back and forth from the wind, and though the weathered wood was chilly from the night air, I made a soft sound of relief when I was finally able to get off my feet again. Leaning back in the glider and staring up at the starry sky, I let my mind drift as the wind tenderly sang to me. Bit by bit, the wind died down until the night was still and quiet, with only the sounds of crickets invading the silence.
“I missed you.”
I sat up and looked over at Mary Jane, who was sitting right next to me, looking just as she had so many decades ago. Her gentle cerulean eyes glimmered with tremendous, playful wisdom, and when my eyes met hers, she gave me a smile of such profound knowing that it made me, with all of my advanced years of learning, feel like a punk kid who still had a lot to learn about life, the universe, and everything. It was a feeling that had become alien to me over the years, and I welcomed it back like an old friend.
“I missed you, too.” I reached out and took her hand, which was wonderfully warm and soothing against the night chill that was settling into my bones.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“There’s no going back from this, you know.”
“I’m all set for it this time, beautiful.”
“Me too, baby. Me too.”
Mary Jane leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, and the warmth began to spread through my body, taking away all of the old aches and pains that had become such a part of me that I barely noticed them any longer. Instead of the heaviness that I’d become accustomed to, I felt light, light as a feather, and I laughed at how good it felt. I was free again, broken away from the years and routine that had once been my life, but had lately become a prison. I’d seen all that I could see and done all that I could do in my life, and while my spirit was still very willing, my flesh had grown weak and weary, trapping me within its confines. But the wind was always as strong as it wanted to be, didn’t weigh a thing, and could never be imprisoned.
As we began to rise into the air, I looked down and saw that the years had fled me, leaving behind the young man who had an enormous amount of catching up to do with the love of his life. I saw myself down below, leaning back in the glider, a broad smile on my wizened features, eyes closed as though I were merely sleeping instead of moving on to the next part of my life. Bidding myself a fond goodbye, Mary Jane and I soared into night sky, dancing with the moon and stars, together again at long last.
This time, it was forever.
We’re walking in the air
We’re floating in the moonlit sky
The people far below are sleeping as we fly
I’m holding very tight
I’m riding in the midnight blue
I’m finding I can fly so high above with you
We’re walking in the air
We’re floating in the midnight sky
And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly
Howard Blake
